I will keep emotion out of this post. The facts speak for themselves.
I am a birth mother. These are the things that were done wrong in our adoption.
1. I did not receive my own legal counsel which is a birth parent right. Because of this, there was an error on the signing of the Termination of Parental Rights. At three months post-placement, this error was found. This error left the door wide open for me to "take back" my relinquished child because my rights were never terminated. I did not do that but I could have as I was well within my rights at that time. Had legal counsel been provided for me this error could have been avoided. Instead, the adoptive family had to deal with the nerves of whether I would sign or not and I had to go through the lowest point of my life again.
2. I did not receive the counseling that my daughter's adoptive parents were charged for. When I contacted them in the year post-placement for help to find local counseling (for which I would be paying for) they initially refused. When I threatened to seek legal counsel, they sent me the name of one therapist, an hour away.
3. I was not told that the state where I placed did not have legally binding open adoptions. (Neither were the adoptive parents!) Had the parents not been morally and ethically sound, they could have slammed the open door shut without rhyme or reason.
4. When I filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau seeking only an apology (no money or the return of my child or anything), they wouldn't even offer that much.
5. This is not a traditional agency. It is a facilitator. They are therefore not governed by the same rules as agencies and can get away with ridiculous amounts of lying, deceit and unethical practices.
6. When my daughter's family needed an itemized list of monies spent to finalize the adoption in their state/county, ANLC could not and would not provide. It took a lot of prodding to get it (which is when they found out that they were charged for counseling that I did not receive!). Had they not received it, the adoption could not have been finalized.
As I said, emotions were left out of this; I just included the facts. The emotional fallout for both parties (birth and adoptive parents) would be a much longer post.
Our story, sadly, is not unique. Do not place through or adopt through this "agency."
We too talked to the Adoption Law Center - before they became the Adoption Law Center - they were merely a facilitator. They marketed agressively to US as potential parents. Whoever they put us in touch with - I can't remember if she was a SW or not called us at least once a week. With that much pressure on - I can only imagine what the # of calls would be for women considering placing.
*I* was uncomfortable with them for that, I've been in sales for 15 years and do not like "pushy" sales - they definately were. I was also uncomfortable because of the way they would have had to facilitate an adoption to work with us. We lived in one of the 3 or 4 states who do not allow you to work with facilitators and in order for us to work with them, there would have had to be a separate attorney in TX where we would "really finalize" I don't remember the details, but it sounded shady to me, in many cases they said it would simply be a 3 state adopion. They called us again when they converted to a Law Center - so, while they are not a faciitator, as I undersand it they are also not a entirely a law firm or an adoption agency but some hybrid. And, the *who regulates* question needs to be looked into.
My experience with them was in 2000 and 2001 - I don't know what, if any changes they have made since then, but I wouldn't recommend them to anyone.
Being an ANLC client for over 2yrs frustrated and upset are just two words that can describe my experience so far. Finally matched with a BM that was a not only a liar but a drug user. When ANLC contacted us about the BM that has choosen us, they tell you over the phone some facts about the BM to see if you are interested. Once you state that you are interested in what they tell you from her ANLC application because they present BM's without all of the information that us adoptive parents are most interested in. For exampl, medical information. If you want to see the BM file and medical information, you have to pay the matching fee and a copy will be mailed to you once ANLC even gets their copy of it. ANLC presents BM's to adoptive parents wihout having their file complete yet. Once you get your BM file, you have to go through all the information yourself because they do not tell important facts about the BM (Or they do not have them because they do not have the file when they present them to you). For instance, that the BM was forced to give up child in the past due to drug use. That is a big character flaw that most adoptive parents have the right to know and may not want to be matched with. As adoptive parents, the BM has the right to know everything about us. We go through so much to acheive our dreams and have been so caring and sensitive to these women that truly make one of the hardest choices in life possible. However, it should not just be all about her rights and choices. We are so trained into thinking that all
that matters is really her, we forget that we are making one of lifes hardest choices as well. When things go wrong ANLC tells us that these things happen, life is not perfect and that is the chance that
adoptive parents take. Also, when they match you, they do not hold your hand through the whole experience. If you are matched in another state good luck. They pass you off to a local social worker and have you contact an attorney they know in the area. Also, give us the crap that they will work overtime to make sure that we are matched again, but we must get past this part of the already frustrated, emotionally draining experience and turn it into a positive experience. They use the word God alot, and not meant to be....But there is a baby out there and you will be a terrific parent. But when you have been waiting years, I say years, and spent over $40,000 and have to redue all the paperwork, and Home study crap you really have to wonder, how do they not get sued everyday....... But I have to say, that all of these agencies are the same.....
We adopted twice with ANLC, in 2003 and 2005. Both times we were matched almost immediately with wonderful birthmom/birthparents. In the first adoption our birthmom spent the last 2 months of her pregnancy in their housing, and ANLC handled the legal stuff as well. Everything went about as smoothly as possible.
Our 2nd adoption was much more difficult because it was out of state (we live in CA, the baby was born in WA). ANLC referred us to an awful agency called A Child's Dream (ACD). The adoption was successful, but we remain upset that ANLC had us use ACD who treated us and the birthparents awfully. We got stuck in WA state for 25 days, in part because of ACD's incompetence. We're quite disappointed that ANLC would not agree to stop using ACD.
The primary task of ANLC is to match you, and at least in our case, they did this very well. Looking at the post above, i know that our birthmom was offered counseling, and we have a very open adoption with her -- we fly her down to visit on average of 3 x per yr, and we are hoping that our younger daughter's bm comes and visits soon too. ANLC very much encouraged us to be open to openness in our adoptions, and i'm so glad we are. Good for our birthparents, daughters and ourselves..
I did not work with them as a pap because:
I would have had to pay 11,800 dollars right up front with my application.
At match I would have had to pay another 9,000 dollars.
That didn't cover all the legal expenses and birthmom expenses. Adoptions should end up costing about 30,000 or more.
I didn't like all the buzz words used to lure me in:
We guarantee you a healthy baby.
You will be likely to get a college student bmom who doesn't use drugs.
You will be matched quickly, probably in days.
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Unethical Agency Alert
I will keep emotion out of this post. The facts speak for themselves.
I am a birth mother. These are the things that were done wrong in our adoption.
1. I did not receive my own legal counsel which is a birth parent right. Because of this, there was an error on the signing of the Termination of Parental Rights. At three months post-placement, this error was found. This error left the door wide open for me to "take back" my relinquished child because my rights were never terminated. I did not do that but I could have as I was well within my rights at that time. Had legal counsel been provided for me this error could have been avoided. Instead, the adoptive family had to deal with the nerves of whether I would sign or not and I had to go through the lowest point of my life again.
2. I did not receive the counseling that my daughter's adoptive parents were charged for. When I contacted them in the year post-placement for help to find local counseling (for which I would be paying for) they initially refused. When I threatened to seek legal counsel, they sent me the name of one therapist, an hour away.
3. I was not told that the state where I placed did not have legally binding open adoptions. (Neither were the adoptive parents!) Had the parents not been morally and ethically sound, they could have slammed the open door shut without rhyme or reason.
4. When I filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau seeking only an apology (no money or the return of my child or anything), they wouldn't even offer that much.
5. This is not a traditional agency. It is a facilitator. They are therefore not governed by the same rules as agencies and can get away with ridiculous amounts of lying, deceit and unethical practices.
6. When my daughter's family needed an itemized list of monies spent to finalize the adoption in their state/county, ANLC could not and would not provide. It took a lot of prodding to get it (which is when they found out that they were charged for counseling that I did not receive!). Had they not received it, the adoption could not have been finalized.
As I said, emotions were left out of this; I just included the facts. The emotional fallout for both parties (birth and adoptive parents) would be a much longer post.
Our story, sadly, is not unique. Do not place through or adopt through this "agency."
adoptive parents perspective
We too talked to the Adoption Law Center - before they became the Adoption Law Center - they were merely a facilitator. They marketed agressively to US as potential parents. Whoever they put us in touch with - I can't remember if she was a SW or not called us at least once a week. With that much pressure on - I can only imagine what the # of calls would be for women considering placing.
*I* was uncomfortable with them for that, I've been in sales for 15 years and do not like "pushy" sales - they definately were. I was also uncomfortable because of the way they would have had to facilitate an adoption to work with us. We lived in one of the 3 or 4 states who do not allow you to work with facilitators and in order for us to work with them, there would have had to be a separate attorney in TX where we would "really finalize" I don't remember the details, but it sounded shady to me, in many cases they said it would simply be a 3 state adopion. They called us again when they converted to a Law Center - so, while they are not a faciitator, as I undersand it they are also not a entirely a law firm or an adoption agency but some hybrid. And, the *who regulates* question needs to be looked into.
My experience with them was in 2000 and 2001 - I don't know what, if any changes they have made since then, but I wouldn't recommend them to anyone.
Thanks.
ANLC
Being an ANLC client for over 2yrs frustrated and upset are just two words that can describe my experience so far. Finally matched with a BM that was a not only a liar but a drug user. When ANLC contacted us about the BM that has choosen us, they tell you over the phone some facts about the BM to see if you are interested. Once you state that you are interested in what they tell you from her ANLC application because they present BM's without all of the information that us adoptive parents are most interested in. For exampl, medical information. If you want to see the BM file and medical information, you have to pay the matching fee and a copy will be mailed to you once ANLC even gets their copy of it. ANLC presents BM's to adoptive parents wihout having their file complete yet. Once you get your BM file, you have to go through all the information yourself because they do not tell important facts about the BM (Or they do not have them because they do not have the file when they present them to you). For instance, that the BM was forced to give up child in the past due to drug use. That is a big character flaw that most adoptive parents have the right to know and may not want to be matched with. As adoptive parents, the BM has the right to know everything about us. We go through so much to acheive our dreams and have been so caring and sensitive to these women that truly make one of the hardest choices in life possible. However, it should not just be all about her rights and choices. We are so trained into thinking that all
that matters is really her, we forget that we are making one of lifes hardest choices as well. When things go wrong ANLC tells us that these things happen, life is not perfect and that is the chance that
adoptive parents take. Also, when they match you, they do not hold your hand through the whole experience. If you are matched in another state good luck. They pass you off to a local social worker and have you contact an attorney they know in the area. Also, give us the crap that they will work overtime to make sure that we are matched again, but we must get past this part of the already frustrated, emotionally draining experience and turn it into a positive experience. They use the word God alot, and not meant to be....But there is a baby out there and you will be a terrific parent. But when you have been waiting years, I say years, and spent over $40,000 and have to redue all the paperwork, and Home study crap you really have to wonder, how do they not get sued everyday....... But I have to say, that all of these agencies are the same.....
a positive experience
We adopted twice with ANLC, in 2003 and 2005. Both times we were matched almost immediately with wonderful birthmom/birthparents. In the first adoption our birthmom spent the last 2 months of her pregnancy in their housing, and ANLC handled the legal stuff as well. Everything went about as smoothly as possible.
Our 2nd adoption was much more difficult because it was out of state (we live in CA, the baby was born in WA). ANLC referred us to an awful agency called A Child's Dream (ACD). The adoption was successful, but we remain upset that ANLC had us use ACD who treated us and the birthparents awfully. We got stuck in WA state for 25 days, in part because of ACD's incompetence. We're quite disappointed that ANLC would not agree to stop using ACD.
The primary task of ANLC is to match you, and at least in our case, they did this very well. Looking at the post above, i know that our birthmom was offered counseling, and we have a very open adoption with her -- we fly her down to visit on average of 3 x per yr, and we are hoping that our younger daughter's bm comes and visits soon too. ANLC very much encouraged us to be open to openness in our adoptions, and i'm so glad we are. Good for our birthparents, daughters and ourselves..
anlc
I did not work with them as a pap because:
I would have had to pay 11,800 dollars right up front with my application.
At match I would have had to pay another 9,000 dollars.
That didn't cover all the legal expenses and birthmom expenses. Adoptions should end up costing about 30,000 or more.
I didn't like all the buzz words used to lure me in:
We guarantee you a healthy baby.
You will be likely to get a college student bmom who doesn't use drugs.
You will be matched quickly, probably in days.