Adoption Agency Ratings

To be totally honest, we initially turned to IAC because we were "too young" for other agencies to consider us as adoptive parents (domestic adoption agencies as well as international agencies). We were 23 and 24 when we started the adoption process but had been together for over 8 years and were very established in our relationship, careers, and lives together. IAC was very open-minded about our ages and simply explained to us that they allow the birthparents to choose the adoptive parents so they (IAC) didn't discriminate based on age, race, religion, or marital status--there was no way to know what birthparents were looking for in adoptive parents. They were very up-front and honest about the fact that we were one of the youngest couples they had ever worked with and that could very well mean a longer wait than the "average" IAC couple. We understood that our wait time was largely out if IAC's hands, since the birthparents choose the family they want, and so we decided to wait as long as it took.
Our first contact was less than two weeks after going "on the books" and becoming available as an adoptive couple. We were very excited, however, IAC was able to quickly recognize some "red flags" and inform us that this so-called birthmother was unfortunately a scam (and not even actually pregnant). That was very difficult and emotional for us but at least we found out within a few days of first speaking with her rather than months (and lots of money!) down the road.
Our second contact was just a few days later, about three weeks after going "on the books", and this birthmother ended up ultimately being the one that we matched with and is now our son's birthmother. IAC provided the necessary counseling to our son's birthmother throughout the process and also offered it to his birthfather. We had thought we would use our home IAC office during the process but because our birthmother was from a different IAC state we had to use their office instead. Our counselor was usually pretty quick in getting back with us when we called or emailed with questions or "updates" on our situation, but there were a few times that we felt like it took her longer than necessary to respond to us.
Our counselor was available throughout the birthmother's pregnancy, during her hospital stay (although she didn't come to the hospital until the day our son and his birthmother were discharged...I guess that's standard procedure, though), during the wait for ICPC to clear, and still now over a year later. About a year after our son was born some legal issues arose that we needed IAC's help figuring out and they did all that they could in helping us. That was great, since technically they weren't obligated to help us sort it out at that point!
Overall we had a positive experience with IAC and if we ever decide to adopt again we will definitely use them again.

My husband and I chose the IAC because we believed that working with an agency with offices across the nation would allow us to cast a larger net in our search for a child. We also strongly believed in open adoption and felt this agency, as a pioneer in open adoptions, would be the best match.

We attend a 2 day seminar and began paying out a thousand + dollars a month for 9 long months. All agency fees were required before "going live" and we were literally paying more to the agency than our mortgage company during those months.

The agency did give us great feedback on our "Dear Birthparent" letter but we did have to pay for the printing and in the end only a few of our letters were sent. After 5 months we brought home our baby, but not because of the IAC, because of our own advertising efforts.

Here are the problems we personally encountered with the agency:

Where are all of the dollars going? To recruit new adoptive families not to providing services to "natural mothers"or advertising to locate expectant parents.

The IAC made a huge deal about their website and yet it was a huge waste of adoptive parent resources. The SEO on the website was non-existant and the traffic to the website during that time was dismal. I can see that they have rectified that situation since our child's adoption. The new website has helpful content and looks nice and seems to have decent SEO efforts.

Lack of respect. During a "match meeting" at the Pleasant Hill office we overheard an intake counselor tell a potential birth parent on the phone "you want to be matched with them, they have a lot of money." That statement was not only unethical but also showed a complete lack of respect for that young woman as well as the waiting families. When we spoke to our home office about the incident we were TOLD that we "misheard, and maybe the stress of your failed match is too much and we should considering going off the books for awhile." We felt threatened and actually considering filing a lawsuit but decided it would be a waste of our resources to do so given the lawyers associated with the agency.

Lack of screening for emotional and legal risk with birthparents before a "match" is made.
We spoke on the phone with expectant parents and flew to San Francisco to have a "match meeting" with them. Proper expectant parent screening would have reveled a host of emotional and legal issues which we were not warned about until during that meeting. We were told later that screening and counseling do not happen until after a match is made and adoptive parents have paid their "match fee".

Lack of service and communication. After paying all of our agency fees we waiting an additional 6 weeks before "going live" because our home office was closed for the holidays and our counselor had a death in the family. Other counselors in the office should have stepped up and provided better service.

Also, the agency called child protective services on an expectant parent we were matched with, which of course caused her to break off her relationship with the agency and us. We had no warning that this was going to happen and spent weeks happily thinking we were going to take home a baby soon. A simple phone call would have spared us serious heartache.

Months after our failed match we were contacted by an expectant parent who need considerable assistance with expenses. We did not feel comfortable and decided not to match, we were met with hostility and considerable pressure from our home office for not choosing to provide financial assistance.

In the end our child's mother found us through independent means and we used an attorney to complete our adoption.

The IAC offices are pretty, their marketing is great, but we felt betrayed and would never recommend them to any couples considering adoption, adoptive or expectant.

They're going to tell you to do your own "networking", and that's a great idea but you don't need to pay the IAC so you can located an expectant parent on your own! The IAC will tell you to wait patiently and if you wait long they'll tell you to rewrite your profile and charge you $200 to update it.

If you state allows you to do so, hire a reputable attorney and advertise on your own. You'll be putting your money to good use elsewhere (like your child's college fund) and you'll find a stronger and more meaningful connection to your child's natural family. In reality, the choice with less risk is actually adopting independently.

I had a great experience with the IAC. I thought the fees were reasonable, all the counselors were very on top of everything and we have a beautiful 2 year old son thanks to them. Our birthmother also had a good experience and was helped tremendously by the counselors that were available to her. I would definitely work with them again!!

We adopted twice with the support of the IAC and we relied upon their professionalism, warmth and guidance. Yes, you do pay upfront costs, but these can be paid over a period of time, which we did with both adoptions, and their costs cover everything except the legal finalization (approx $700 in CA, which has to be done by an atty). For a full-cost agency (which includes homestudy, web hosting, counseling for both adoptive family and birthparents), etc., their fees are much lower than others in CA. The support of the counselors made both adoptions possible and successful; we are sure that without the IAC, these adoptions would have fallen apart. We did lots of research both times and were pleased that both time, the IAC was our choice. We would ALWAYS refer to the IAC and write recommendations, always.

(I do want to add that I am offended that a previous poster questioned the positive responses. I am posting as a real adoptive mom who heard about this site from a friend and wanted to share our high recommendations. We are proud of the IAC's ground breaking work in open adoption and deeply pleased that we found the IAC when we first searched almost 12 years ago and then returned for our second adoption a few years ago. Both times we worked with the Pleasant Hill office, with a little help from the LA office and they were kind, helpful and great.)

We signed our contract with IAC in August 2007, homestudy approved November 2007, in the books January 16th 2008 and our bm contact on February 21st. Our son came home with us on June 7th 2008. IAC went above and beyond to help our birthmother get out of a tough situation. They were in constant contact with us through out the process, and we appreciate their feedback every step of the way. We got our monies worth and would recommend them to anyone.

We paid the Independent Adoption Center more than $15,000 dollars over the course of a year. After suffering some extremely unprofessional conduct in the San Fransisco office, we called the Indiana Office to complain.

An attendant in the SF office told a birthmother in a match meeting that she should match with us "Because we have a lot of money."

Then after taking our $1,500 match fee the counselor immediately called CPS and had the birthmom's other child removed form her custody. I understand looking out for the welfare of a child, but top take our $1,500 and then TELL the birthmother that her conduct in the match meeting was the grounds for the removal of her daughter was way over the line.

After listening to our complaints, the Indiana Office told us that given how emotional we were about the situation we should probably come out of the book (i.e. stop trying to adopt through the IAC) until we worked through our anger.

So our choices were to stop complaining and play ball to stay in the book or press the issue and lose the best possibility we had for finding a baby (at the time) as well as the $15,000 we had already paid (no refunds).

We ditched the IAC and took over for ourselves. This was our first adoption experience and we were able to out-perform the IAC in online networking easily. Within WEEKS we had adopted our son through Open Adoption in Nebraska. I posted the entire story complete with links to the books we used to replace the IAC as well as examples of the Independent Adoption Center's poor online networking advice.

As the IAC stresses (as does everyone else) every adoption is different. Your mileage may vary.
We completed an adoption through IAC, and of course are thrilled to be parents. Our child is wonderful, and the relationship with the birthparents is pretty good.

That being said, there were a number of things that bothered us about the process and follow-through of the IAC. The claims of "lifetime counseling" for the birthmom seems great, but the reality is the quality of the counseling delivered is pretty weak, and we think in our case the birthmom could benefit from counseling. Thankfully, the birthfather is in the picture, and is a real rock of strength, although he's certainly not a professional counselor, just a darn good friend and person.

Additionally, our adoption took a long while, and there were parts where we could have really used some help that the IAC should have been able to provide, but they weren't willing to provide it. I'm not talking complicated stuff, either, just some things that for the money we sort of expected. Looking back with 20/20 hindsight, I feel like we should have done more to push them to act, but with all the complications of adoption, that is a lot to ask of adoptive parents.

So all in all, good outcome, not so great experience.

Our experience with the IAC was a very positive one. We had a lot of support in the application process, and with creating our Dear Birthmother letter. Amazingly, we were contacted by our birthmother less than a month after we went into circulation and a month after that, we had our daughter. We adopted out of a non-IAC state and they were great at facilitating the paperwork and communication that needed to be done, especially with getting ICPC taken care of quickly.

We were sold by their commitment to open adoption, their long track record, and their promised aggressive wait times. But, a year later, we were still waiting and doing a TON of leg work ourselves, i.e, costly advertising. It was like what ttjg said above.. they take the money, the family does ALL the work.

In the mean time we had contacted a local family lawyer that brought more opportunities than IAC did in half the time. And he was up front that he only does at most 6 adoptions / year and to not be hopeful.

Anyhow, we've seen several families wait and wait and wait, some over 5 years and getting little or no support. Their forms are full of happy successful people while those unhappy just don't post or will email privately as I had found on multiple occasions. After a year, when our home study was due (we're not in an IAC state, so that costs extra), we decided to put our case on hold and of course we couldn't get a refund. We most likely won't reactivate and will loose all the monies put forth.. ~ 12 K. BUMMER! Very costly mistake that we are writing off as a donation (not seriously any IRS folks).

On another note, we did contact Kirsch & Kirsch, didn't sign up with them, but thought they were great!

Like the title says.. they were probably great a decade ago or so when Tim Rappaport was still in charge, but now, don't believe their commitment to you. They'll take your monies and then you're on your own.

As a birth mother reading all the negative comments, I'm sitting back wondering who is really to blame? I was given a little unexpected package after a 16 yr friendship went a little too far. The first day of my missed period, I knew he was given to me to carry for a loving family who isn't able to conceive. I immediately jumped on line with a specific couple in mind.
After contacting 8, eight couples, introducing my self, how I took a test, it came back positive, that I hadn't even gone to the dr yet, so please understand I know if I go to the dr and make it past the first trimester, this baby was going to need a home! I sent out info on the babies race, and if you're interested, please email me back. Two couples of the eight responded.
I had a drs apt in 2 weeks. I called the agency at one am the night of the apt. I said its for sure, where do I go from here? They required proof of pregnancy from dr and a questionaire about my perfect match. I again emailed the couples 8, and the same 2 replied. One couple would email just to see how I was doing. They had told me how just a few months back, the other bm changed her mind at the hospital and their devistation. Understandably so.
Moving forward, anytime I was sad, angry, sick...my counselor was there, asking if she could do anything, if I have been taking to any couples. Needless to say, between the help IAC and my wonderful understanding expectant parents (poor things delt with my mood swings the entire 8 months with open hearts and smiles) we kept in contact daily, thru emails, texts, and our meeting ! All I'm saying is kids cost money, either hospital bill at birth, pictures, parties, clothes, food, diapers, an attny for an adoption. It all costs money! If IAC wasn't there for me to ask the "hard" questions to, and the amazing couple stepping up, showing sincere concern, that beautiful baby boy wouldnt be wearing that huge smile on his face.
Maybe expectant parents should take initiative in communication with the birth mother, get to know each other, before you become another bitter person posting comments about an amazing agency about how much money you spent! Maybe, just maybe you all complaining about money, are worried about the wrong thing and perhaps that is why your complaining on a site instead of nurturing your new addition? Just saying, plus if you have a problem with a counsler you have a voice, use it to request a new one. Love iac, love my family, love my baby! I wouldn't have it any other way, and wouldn't change a thing!

Tummy Mummy

Hey Shari, I posted about my experience with the IAC, but with that said I have never dealt with their North Carolina office. Since you are in a non-IAC state, there are some possibilities you should know about.

First, you will need to hire an in-state organization to do your home study. The IAC might have some partners in your local area, but be sure you do some checking first to make sure you are getting the best service at the lowest possible price.

Second, if you find a birthmother in a non-IAC state you will need to hire a local agency to perform the pre and post adoption counseling in most cases. Typically agencies that offer home studies also do this counseling. Try to find a one-stop-shop that does it all in your state to minimize on paperwork transfer time and miscommunications.

Third, if you match with a birthmother in a non-IAC state you don't need the IAC anymore at all. There is no need to pay the $1,500 match fee or the $1,000 finalization fee if you can get it all done by an agency in the birthmother's state. The IAC would simply outsource to a local provider in the state where your birthmother is to facilitate the process anyway. You can do this yourself and save time and money.

Remember that when you hire the IAC you are not hiring an agency that is designed to find your a birthmother. You are hiring an agency that is designed to educate you on the process and provide limited networking opportunities where a birthmother might be. Use them and their ground game outside your immediate area if you have the money to spend, but the best chance for success lies in your own efforts.

To make you fell better, the California and Georgia offices are also not responsive and really did not even match our minimal criteria for professionalism. We had a terrible experience with them. Over the years we have been active, they ruined our contacts with a few birth mothers. So we decided to wait when a BM contacted us, we did not tell the IAC until it was time to move forward.
If I had knew what I know now, I will NEVER have spend a cent to hire this incompetent agency. They should not be in the business of adoption. The only thing they respect is your $$$$ (trust me they are on top of their invoices).

Our experience with the adoption process was a complete rollercoaster from the beginning. We researched private adoption as well as adoption agencies. We chose the Independent Adoption Center (IAC) because they sounded dedicated to both adoptive families and birth parents. However, the 18 months that we were their clients we were sorely disappointed with their services. We matched with our first birth mother after 1 week of being “on the books” with the IAC. It was a whirlwind of phone calls and financial demands from the young woman. We relied on the advice/counseling from our IAC counselor on how to proceed in this match throughout the agonizing 6 weeks. We were very disappointed to hear that instead of trying to find out the motives behind some of the demands (or telling her the demands were unreasonable), the IAC counselor told the birth mother that there were other IAC families who could afford her living expenses. The birth mother “unmatched” with us after 6 weeks. The most unbelievable part was that early on our IAC case manager called me ‘unprofessional’ because I ‘emailed too much’; needless to say our trust in the agency started to decrease very quickly. We continued our adoption process with the IAC since we already paid them so much money and did not have the funds to find another agency.

Our second ‘match’ was made through our own networking on Parentprofiles.com. We never received a call from ANY birth mother through the IAC in the 18 months of the process. We formed a wonderful relationship with this birth mother from the beginning; however, during our match we had a small hiccup over our birth mother obtaining medical insurance. The agency felt that if we, the adoptive couple, would not be able to pay for her medical expenses (the birth/hospital fees) without insurance, then she should take a look at other IAC families who could afford those types of expenses. When the agency’s counselor told our birth mother this, she was in complete distress because she thought she was going to lose us. Around the last trimester, we had to switch from using the IAC to hiring lawyers because we (ourselves and the birth mother) did not live in states that the IAC was licensed. At this time we found out that the IAC jeopardized our adoption with our birth mother. Before hiring our lawyers, the IAC gave us advice to provide our birth mother living expenses without researching the states laws. Our lawyers said the adoption could be overturned because funds were given “illegally” and we did not have proper documentation to exchange funds. From the moment we told the IAC how our adoption could have been jeopardized; the agency stopped ALL contact with us as well as stopped ALL counseling/contact with the birth mother (the last 2 months of our birth mother’s pregnancy and postpartum). The IAC did not provide any of the services that were supposed to be provided (per our contract with them) or that was discussed during out “match meeting.” The IAC did not even call our birth mother to see how she was emotionally holding up after our son was born or after she had terminated her rights. The DAY that our birth mother signed her rights over to us in court, my husband and I received a “birth fee” invoice through e-mail for $3000.00. Again, we hadn’t heard from the IAC at ALL for about 2 months but they wanted their last fee.

From this experience, I will never use or recommend The Independent Adoption Center. They are unprofessional, unethical, and unreliable and are not dedicated to either the birthparents or the adoptive parents.

Never pay up front. We have been on the books with IAC since 2007. We've had 1 match that fell thru and IAC has yet to tell us what happened and why the birthmother changed her mind. They are right there for money but very slow to assist the adoptive couple. They actually do very little. They do offer counseling but it is over the phone. The client actually pays for everything and does all the work, the website, birthmother letter, pictures, home study, etc. The contract is very specific, NO REFUNDS!!! And they make sure you pay before anything else proceeds. Be warned!!! I wish we had gone thru a good adoption attorney instead. We're out at least $15,000.

I wish we had read some of these reviews online prior to signing on with the IAC. We would have decided to go with another agency. While it may be true that people are more likely to write a review when they are dissatisfied than when they are happy, there are more poor reviews here than we would have been comfortable with. Unfortunately, our experience mirrors some of these negative reviews.

Overall, we were very disappointed in our experience with the IAC. We did have some positive experiences, especially at first, and met some of the good people who work there, but there were also a number of times when the IAC dropped the ball on getting things done in a timely manner, handled situations with our birthmother insensitively, and just generally were not focused on providing good service. The IAC also has a high staff turnover rate, which indicates some organizational instability—possibly some management issues—and caused some problems and frustrations throughout our adoption process. In hindsight, and being as fair-minded as I can muster given our bad experience, I think they are probably just overloaded with work and were primarily focused on getting adoptions done—perhaps don’t have time for providing good service.

We were very happy with the service of the agency the IAC helped us find in the state where we adopted our son (and we will be writing them a glowing review). We didn’t fully realize how dissatisfied we were with the IAC until we worked with an agency that was truly dedicated to their clients—both birthparents and adoptive parents.

Our recommendation to potential adoptive parents is to do your research before handing over many thousands of dollars to an agency that will guide you through one of the most difficult (but ultimately joyous) experiences you may have in your life. Read reviews, meet the staff of different agencies, ask them the difficult questions, and feel confident that you are making the best decision. We think you would be making a mistake by going with the IAC. However, if you ultimately decide that the IAC is the best agency for you, we hope your experience with them will be better than ours was.

After reading your post I have to smile; your bitterness at not being chosen as an adoptive parent is obvious. I strongly imagine the reason you weren't chosen is because of your negative attitude. The IAC has been an excellent experience and your misleading review filled with inaccuracies only hurts the chances of the many, not hundreds, of families who are waiting to adopt a child. Adoption is not a race so no one needs 'an edge.' The process of adoption is a roller coaster ride for sure and the IAC has been there for us every step of the way.

I agree with mommy3, I also am sorry your experience was so sad, but you get what you put into it. With a 100% placement rate with IAC I think it's obvious the problem lies with you and not the adoption agency.

Good luck.

(Noy sure what the ratings on this comment really show. . .) but I wanted to post as well, having posted a general comment but also wanted to respond to this one as well. I, like other adoptive parents, wanted to add my comments to the reviews. I am offended that just because negative reviews were followed by positive ones, doesn't mean that the positive ones (or the negative ones) are fake. We each make our own opinions about our needs in adoption -- and have our own experiences. My biggest recommendation is to read comments, listen to them all, throw out the outliers (the far negative and positive ones) and do your own homework on this site, other sites, person-to-person and most of all IN person. Meet with any agency and make an informed decision. The IAC was much more reasonable cost-wise for us both times than any other full-service agency (and much cheaper than a close friend's private adoption via attorney where SHE found the birthmom herself), but that was OUR experience -- the IAC provided us what we were looking for, but that might not be true for someone else. Just because there are negative (or positive comments) here, shouldn't make you go WITH or AGAINST the IAC, but it should provide a chapter in your research. All that being said, adoption is a minefield and the journey is a challenge. Still, for us, pregnancy was a journey of losses (and one perfect pregnancy) and if we wanted to grow our family, adoption was our choice and the IAC gave us the power. We now have two younger children in our family thanks to the IAC but the journey, yes, was difficult at times. I don't fault the IAC for those challeges; they simply come with the territory in adoption waiting. I'm dismayed that this poster has decided that just because some of us chose to post positive reviews, then we were deemed fakes. I for one am very real!

"For our clients who do not find a match within our average range, we offer additional unique advertising budgets specifically for each client in this range."

And there it is.

For all the money you pay to IAC, you find youself doing all the work. YOU are responsible for your own advertising and networking. The few couples who are lucky enough to match quickly give them great reviews, but if you find yourself waiting a year, you will see IAC for what they REALLY are, and how much actual effort they put into serving your needs:

Slow to respond
High staff turnover
Drops the ball on many issues
Little contact from your worker (except for monthly invites from IAC to come march in gay-pride events...WTF, we are a M/F married couple!!)

A review of their newsletter shows happy families with light-skinned babies, and the cover always has a happy caucasian baby on it. The truth, however, is another matter altogether. We are being told that if we want to match, we need to "open our heart other options"...

If you are a white couple, looking for a white child, do not bother with IAC. They will make you feel like an asshole for not wanting a multi-ethnic meth baby with fetal alcohol syndrome.