Adoption Agency Ratings

Went to Bethany early in my pregnancy. Made it VERY clear, multiple times (before I even walked in the door, in fact) that I was not sure what I wanted to do--parenting or adoption--and that I needed help and information on both options. They promised to walk me through both options and help me no matter which I chose.

When I had attended several appointments and finally asked for help in putting together a parenting plan, finding community resources to help me parent, and so on, they refused.

They have refused to provide the life-long post-placement counseling they promised.

When I returned to them post-relinquishment and asked for information on support groups, books to help a post-relinquishment mother, etc., they could not provide me with a single resource... I ended up telling THEM about the closest CUB meeting. (And later found out they don't support CUB, anyway, because it's too radical... which is absurd--Google CUB.)

Bethany has individual people who do a good job, but the organization as a whole is corrupt, in my opinion. It is a huge supporter of the NCFA, which lobbies for closed records, closed adoptions, and which put out the booklet "Birth Mother, Good Mother" as a way to market infant adoption--to make women feel that in order to be good mothers, they need to relinquish their children.

Bethany's pamphlets and website alone should be enough to make people RUN in the other direction--there are lies and half-truths and pro-relinquishment spin all over the place. (Check out the "Options" pages on the Unplanned Pregnancy section of the website. Notice how under "Parenting," the NEGATIVES are listed first... and under "Adoption," the POSITIVES are listed first.) There is no mention that open adoptions aren't legally enforceable, either--website makes it sound like it's all up to the natural mom how much contact she has. And no mention of increased risk of depression, PTSD, substance abuse, etc etc after relinquishing a child. Basically... everything is whitewashed.

I could go on and on and on about individual horror stories, about the brainwashing and subtly coercive methods, but I'll stop and just say this:

No mother should relinquish her child through this agency--period. And no adoptive parent should adopt through this agency--period. Unless you are comfortable with a portion of your fees going to SUPPORT denying adoptees their original birth certificates and their own records--then do NOT use this agency, even if you have found an individual office that isn't too bad.