Being an ANLC client for over 2yrs frustrated and upset are just two words that can describe my experience so far. Finally matched with a BM that was a not only a liar but a drug user. When ANLC contacted us about the BM that has choosen us, they tell you over the phone some facts about the BM to see if you are interested. Once you state that you are interested in what they tell you from her ANLC application because they present BM's without all of the information that us adoptive parents are most interested in. For exampl, medical information. If you want to see the BM file and medical information, you have to pay the matching fee and a copy will be mailed to you once ANLC even gets their copy of it. ANLC presents BM's to adoptive parents wihout having their file complete yet. Once you get your BM file, you have to go through all the information yourself because they do not tell important facts about the BM (Or they do not have them because they do not have the file when they present them to you). For instance, that the BM was forced to give up child in the past due to drug use. That is a big character flaw that most adoptive parents have the right to know and may not want to be matched with. As adoptive parents, the BM has the right to know everything about us. We go through so much to acheive our dreams and have been so caring and sensitive to these women that truly make one of the hardest choices in life possible. However, it should not just be all about her rights and choices. We are so trained into thinking that all
that matters is really her, we forget that we are making one of lifes hardest choices as well. When things go wrong ANLC tells us that these things happen, life is not perfect and that is the chance that
adoptive parents take. Also, when they match you, they do not hold your hand through the whole experience. If you are matched in another state good luck. They pass you off to a local social worker and have you contact an attorney they know in the area. Also, give us the crap that they will work overtime to make sure that we are matched again, but we must get past this part of the already frustrated, emotionally draining experience and turn it into a positive experience. They use the word God alot, and not meant to be....But there is a baby out there and you will be a terrific parent. But when you have been waiting years, I say years, and spent over $40,000 and have to redue all the paperwork, and Home study crap you really have to wonder, how do they not get sued everyday....... But I have to say, that all of these agencies are the same.....
While i wrote a generally positive review of ANLC and this is a negative one, we are in agreement on one thing -- dealing with an out of state adoption, at least with ANLC, is a difficult and expensive proposition. The actually did hold our hand through the whole experience during our first adoption which was in state (California). But they had us use a miserable agency in WA state (A Child's Dream), and it was a very difficult process. We felt that ANLC should have found us a much better agency to work with, and should have really done a much better job of letting us know what we were in for when deciding to proceed with out of state birth parents. We're done adopting, but if i were to adopt again, i would only do in state, but that's easy for me to say because i'm not aching to get a baby ASAP..
With such a big facilitator as ANLC it is a mystery in how they market different adoptive couples. Why are some matched quickly and others slowly like this poster? Is it have to do with them or the ANLC worker who handles their file? I've no idea, but 2yrs is a really long time, and I feel bad for what you're going through. Best of luck from here on..
Dan
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ANLC
Being an ANLC client for over 2yrs frustrated and upset are just two words that can describe my experience so far. Finally matched with a BM that was a not only a liar but a drug user. When ANLC contacted us about the BM that has choosen us, they tell you over the phone some facts about the BM to see if you are interested. Once you state that you are interested in what they tell you from her ANLC application because they present BM's without all of the information that us adoptive parents are most interested in. For exampl, medical information. If you want to see the BM file and medical information, you have to pay the matching fee and a copy will be mailed to you once ANLC even gets their copy of it. ANLC presents BM's to adoptive parents wihout having their file complete yet. Once you get your BM file, you have to go through all the information yourself because they do not tell important facts about the BM (Or they do not have them because they do not have the file when they present them to you). For instance, that the BM was forced to give up child in the past due to drug use. That is a big character flaw that most adoptive parents have the right to know and may not want to be matched with. As adoptive parents, the BM has the right to know everything about us. We go through so much to acheive our dreams and have been so caring and sensitive to these women that truly make one of the hardest choices in life possible. However, it should not just be all about her rights and choices. We are so trained into thinking that all
that matters is really her, we forget that we are making one of lifes hardest choices as well. When things go wrong ANLC tells us that these things happen, life is not perfect and that is the chance that
adoptive parents take. Also, when they match you, they do not hold your hand through the whole experience. If you are matched in another state good luck. They pass you off to a local social worker and have you contact an attorney they know in the area. Also, give us the crap that they will work overtime to make sure that we are matched again, but we must get past this part of the already frustrated, emotionally draining experience and turn it into a positive experience. They use the word God alot, and not meant to be....But there is a baby out there and you will be a terrific parent. But when you have been waiting years, I say years, and spent over $40,000 and have to redue all the paperwork, and Home study crap you really have to wonder, how do they not get sued everyday....... But I have to say, that all of these agencies are the same.....
ANLC and out of state adoptions
While i wrote a generally positive review of ANLC and this is a negative one, we are in agreement on one thing -- dealing with an out of state adoption, at least with ANLC, is a difficult and expensive proposition. The actually did hold our hand through the whole experience during our first adoption which was in state (California). But they had us use a miserable agency in WA state (A Child's Dream), and it was a very difficult process. We felt that ANLC should have found us a much better agency to work with, and should have really done a much better job of letting us know what we were in for when deciding to proceed with out of state birth parents. We're done adopting, but if i were to adopt again, i would only do in state, but that's easy for me to say because i'm not aching to get a baby ASAP..
With such a big facilitator as ANLC it is a mystery in how they market different adoptive couples. Why are some matched quickly and others slowly like this poster? Is it have to do with them or the ANLC worker who handles their file? I've no idea, but 2yrs is a really long time, and I feel bad for what you're going through. Best of luck from here on..
Dan