And who might be reading this? Is a birth mom reading this? What does she think? We truly want her to know we will love that child as if it were our own"
As an adoptee, an abused adoptee I am going to tell you that that is a lie. First of all, you do not know how it FEELS to have your own child and no, you could never love another woman's child like your own so I wish you PAP's and adoptive parents would stop spewing that bullcrap. There is a special, sacred bond between mother and child that you will never know, and since I am a mother myself I know what that feels like. I have imagined how I would feel if I adopted a child after I had my child and I see blaringly clear how I would feel differant towards the adopted child. My adoptive mother abused me, neglected me, did not protect me and set out to destroy me in my teen years. We do not speak, and she does not care. Adoptiove parents seem to think a baby's life is all ABOUT them and it is not. You people are given unnatural parental power that effcts all adoptees negativly, and do treat us like we are there to serve a purpose for YOU, not to be who we are (because that reminds you you couldn't have a kid, which is unhealthy for us). Since you bought us, most adoptive parents are ruthless control freaks which destroys adoptees as well-if you don't like that you can't get pregant then go to God with it, so you can accept it, but leave innocent babies out of it-you have no right to hurt us because you can't have what you want. I think it is obvious too, that if there was no money involved in adoption, after all the hell it has caused adoptees and real parents, IT WOULD BE ILLEGAL.
i have adopted AND birtch children-3 of each. i love them all the same and that is the honest truth. DONT TELL ME HOW I FEEL! you only have a birth child, you admit you do not have an adopted child so how do you KNOW?????????????? you are being very judgemental and i highly doubt it is due to the fact that you are adopted. you are negative, rude and downright nasty BY CHOICE.
Our adoption system is a mess. Judging from the comments of unethical agency behavior on this board just in the last week proves that. I am so sorry to hear you were placed with an abusive parent. That was criminal! We have two children by birth and one through adoption. I think bonding has a lot to do with personalities more than anything else. It may surprise some that the child I have the closest relationship to is the one we adopted and she was an older infant at the time of adoption. I love all of my children, but she and I definitely connect the most. She has an open adoption and I agree with you that she and her first mom have a special bond, but it doesn't prevent her from bonding with me or anyone else.
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ADOPTION ISN'T CHRISTIAN
The first poster said this:
And who might be reading this? Is a birth mom reading this? What does she think? We truly want her to know we will love that child as if it were our own"
As an adoptee, an abused adoptee I am going to tell you that that is a lie. First of all, you do not know how it FEELS to have your own child and no, you could never love another woman's child like your own so I wish you PAP's and adoptive parents would stop spewing that bullcrap. There is a special, sacred bond between mother and child that you will never know, and since I am a mother myself I know what that feels like. I have imagined how I would feel if I adopted a child after I had my child and I see blaringly clear how I would feel differant towards the adopted child. My adoptive mother abused me, neglected me, did not protect me and set out to destroy me in my teen years. We do not speak, and she does not care. Adoptiove parents seem to think a baby's life is all ABOUT them and it is not. You people are given unnatural parental power that effcts all adoptees negativly, and do treat us like we are there to serve a purpose for YOU, not to be who we are (because that reminds you you couldn't have a kid, which is unhealthy for us). Since you bought us, most adoptive parents are ruthless control freaks which destroys adoptees as well-if you don't like that you can't get pregant then go to God with it, so you can accept it, but leave innocent babies out of it-you have no right to hurt us because you can't have what you want. I think it is obvious too, that if there was no money involved in adoption, after all the hell it has caused adoptees and real parents, IT WOULD BE ILLEGAL.
rude adoptee
i have adopted AND birtch children-3 of each. i love them all the same and that is the honest truth. DONT TELL ME HOW I FEEL! you only have a birth child, you admit you do not have an adopted child so how do you KNOW?????????????? you are being very judgemental and i highly doubt it is due to the fact that you are adopted. you are negative, rude and downright nasty BY CHOICE.
Industry is a mess
Our adoption system is a mess. Judging from the comments of unethical agency behavior on this board just in the last week proves that. I am so sorry to hear you were placed with an abusive parent. That was criminal! We have two children by birth and one through adoption. I think bonding has a lot to do with personalities more than anything else. It may surprise some that the child I have the closest relationship to is the one we adopted and she was an older infant at the time of adoption. I love all of my children, but she and I definitely connect the most. She has an open adoption and I agree with you that she and her first mom have a special bond, but it doesn't prevent her from bonding with me or anyone else.
To the poster above, you deserved a better mom.