I have been an employee for 4 years at ACW. I've seen MORE happy and satisfied clients than not. We CARE immensely about birthmother's that CALL US, we are not running around soliciting birth mothers. Some people just expect 24 hour hand holding and that is not always possible. I have witnessed many joyous occasions of families being united with their adoptive child. I've eaten more cookies from happy clients than I care to remember, but my waistline does!!
I have no doubt that you personally care about the birth mothers and adoptive parents. Why else would you do this kind of work? Undoubtedly they are fortunate to have you. Unfortunately, the experience my family member received did not reflect well on your agency and she did not feel that personal caring. Nor did the birth mother, who got scared and ran. Not your fault - it's the fault of an agency who tried to move beyond the geographical borders of what is possible within the bounds of accepted practices and was unable to provide crisis support in a timely manner.
I'm sorry, but I do doubt that ACW or any other agency cares one whit about the mothers of the babies they acquire for their clients. Just by calling us "birth"parents, you reduce us to breeding stock for others. My children were not "gifts" so that someone could play mommy and daddy. They were MINE and they were taken and I was supposed to disappear and let these people have their fantasies. It's funny that the woman who adopted my daughter finally realized, in her last years, that adoption doesn't cure infertility nor does it break the bond between real mothers and their children...it might twist it and put kinks in it, but it never breaks. I feel badly for people who are infertile. I also feel badly for someone whose leg was amputated. Does that mean I should give the amputee one of my legs?
ACW was NOT looking out for one mother's best interests, for sure, and legal, schmegal...the word is ETHICS. And, if it can be proven, then it isn't libel.
I am very pro-natural family preservation. If a young mother has support of her family to help her with her child, then leave her alone! If she doesn't, then do what I have done and find her the help she needs to parent her child. I will still question the ethics of the school counselor until I hear some proof that this person acted in an ethical manner.
Oh, and my name is Robin Kinney Westbrook, I am 62 years old and I don't need to hide from anyone. I stand by every word I have written here. (BTW, happily married, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, retired, artist, swimmer and normal person...notice..no "birth" prefix.)
Hi Robin,
I have been following this discussion, and I just read your comments. We adopted an older child from another country thinking we were providing a home and a family for a child who had no parents and who had no relatives. That's what the agency in the US and in the other country said anyway.
Well, when our child acquired enough English we discovered that the mother had put the child in the orphanage due to needing to find an apt. and a job, which she later did successfully. This mother visited her child every week and the child even went to the mother's apt. for day visits.
We were told that no relatives had visited in two years and that the future in that country for all orphans is bleak.
To make it short, the first year together with this child was a sad and bleak one. Once we pieced the story together, we moved heaven and earth to get a phone connection and we had a few choice words for the agency. Thank goodness our child remembered the mother's phone number.
Now, this child talks on the phone whenever it is desired and for as long as desired with our blessing. Through a translator, we have talked to the mother and figured out what happened.
As it is, we can not afford to travel back to this country in the near future, but we are looking at trying to bring the mother here if possible.
I AM APPALLED that we adopted someone else's child. We thought we were adopting an orphan who had no parents and no home. We are trying to do the best we can now to reconnect the family relationships.
However, we are the legal mother and father. We will do our best to raise this child and provide love, education, a home, etc. This adopted person (protecting privacy) wants to stay here for now and wants to live in this country for the future. However, he/she desperately wants his/her mother. We are trying to make that happen.
I never thought I would be in an "open" adoption. But I am. And now we have to make the best choices possible for this child to ensure that this mother-child bond is not broken. We are trying, we truly didn't know.
In the meantime, this child is happy and calls me "Mom" and her natural mother, "Mama." "Mama" has told him/her to be happy, to listen to us, and to learn. Basically, she has given permission to bond with our family and to have a good life.
I think she is an awesome woman to do that, given what happened and how her child was taken away from her. She isn't angry with us and we hope to work out a visit soon.
BUT IT IS A MESS AND I COULD SCREAM AND HAVE SCREAMED AT THE ADOPTION AGENCY!!! I don't understand how we could have done all that paperwork and traveled thousands of miles to come back with a child who wasn't an orphan and who already had a home!
If you know any support groups/yahoo groups I'd like to know about them.
Oh, regarding ACW, yeah, we worked with them on another adoption. Sloppy, not professional, never available, and ultimately they did not deliver. That whole ICPC business was a wreck and ACW definitely was cutting some corners in our case to "make" it happen. i'd never, ever, never use them again. I think their practices are questionable and I wondered at the time if the adoption (if it had every happened) would have been legal, given the "loose" paperwork.
Sorry about what happened with your adopted child. Did you ever think it a possibility that it was not the agencies fault? Do you think it might have been the responsibility of the overseas orphanage and/or the government in that country? Who approved the adoption in the other country? Our US agencies do not have that type of clout.
I think you will be out of a job soon. What about Stephanie Bennett? I hear you guys and the high school counselor in cahoots together. She didn't call you. The high school counselor called you.
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Reviews
acw
I have been an employee for 4 years at ACW. I've seen MORE happy and satisfied clients than not. We CARE immensely about birthmother's that CALL US, we are not running around soliciting birth mothers. Some people just expect 24 hour hand holding and that is not always possible. I have witnessed many joyous occasions of families being united with their adoptive child. I've eaten more cookies from happy clients than I care to remember, but my waistline does!!
Please read the rules before
Please read the rules before posting. http://www.adoptionagencyratings.com/rules-using-adoption-agency-ratings...
1. If you are a agency, DO NOT WRITE A REVIEW. You can reply to reviews about your agency but please identify yourself as a agency representative.
2. If you represent a agency and want to reply, create a free user account first. No anonymous replies from agencies.
I have no doubt that you
I have no doubt that you personally care about the birth mothers and adoptive parents. Why else would you do this kind of work? Undoubtedly they are fortunate to have you. Unfortunately, the experience my family member received did not reflect well on your agency and she did not feel that personal caring. Nor did the birth mother, who got scared and ran. Not your fault - it's the fault of an agency who tried to move beyond the geographical borders of what is possible within the bounds of accepted practices and was unable to provide crisis support in a timely manner.
Cares About (Natural) Mothers?
I'm sorry, but I do doubt that ACW or any other agency cares one whit about the mothers of the babies they acquire for their clients. Just by calling us "birth"parents, you reduce us to breeding stock for others. My children were not "gifts" so that someone could play mommy and daddy. They were MINE and they were taken and I was supposed to disappear and let these people have their fantasies. It's funny that the woman who adopted my daughter finally realized, in her last years, that adoption doesn't cure infertility nor does it break the bond between real mothers and their children...it might twist it and put kinks in it, but it never breaks. I feel badly for people who are infertile. I also feel badly for someone whose leg was amputated. Does that mean I should give the amputee one of my legs?
ACW was NOT looking out for one mother's best interests, for sure, and legal, schmegal...the word is ETHICS. And, if it can be proven, then it isn't libel.
I am very pro-natural family preservation. If a young mother has support of her family to help her with her child, then leave her alone! If she doesn't, then do what I have done and find her the help she needs to parent her child. I will still question the ethics of the school counselor until I hear some proof that this person acted in an ethical manner.
Oh, and my name is Robin Kinney Westbrook, I am 62 years old and I don't need to hide from anyone. I stand by every word I have written here. (BTW, happily married, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, retired, artist, swimmer and normal person...notice..no "birth" prefix.)
To Robin
Hi Robin,
I have been following this discussion, and I just read your comments. We adopted an older child from another country thinking we were providing a home and a family for a child who had no parents and who had no relatives. That's what the agency in the US and in the other country said anyway.
Well, when our child acquired enough English we discovered that the mother had put the child in the orphanage due to needing to find an apt. and a job, which she later did successfully. This mother visited her child every week and the child even went to the mother's apt. for day visits.
We were told that no relatives had visited in two years and that the future in that country for all orphans is bleak.
To make it short, the first year together with this child was a sad and bleak one. Once we pieced the story together, we moved heaven and earth to get a phone connection and we had a few choice words for the agency. Thank goodness our child remembered the mother's phone number.
Now, this child talks on the phone whenever it is desired and for as long as desired with our blessing. Through a translator, we have talked to the mother and figured out what happened.
As it is, we can not afford to travel back to this country in the near future, but we are looking at trying to bring the mother here if possible.
I AM APPALLED that we adopted someone else's child. We thought we were adopting an orphan who had no parents and no home. We are trying to do the best we can now to reconnect the family relationships.
However, we are the legal mother and father. We will do our best to raise this child and provide love, education, a home, etc. This adopted person (protecting privacy) wants to stay here for now and wants to live in this country for the future. However, he/she desperately wants his/her mother. We are trying to make that happen.
I never thought I would be in an "open" adoption. But I am. And now we have to make the best choices possible for this child to ensure that this mother-child bond is not broken. We are trying, we truly didn't know.
In the meantime, this child is happy and calls me "Mom" and her natural mother, "Mama." "Mama" has told him/her to be happy, to listen to us, and to learn. Basically, she has given permission to bond with our family and to have a good life.
I think she is an awesome woman to do that, given what happened and how her child was taken away from her. She isn't angry with us and we hope to work out a visit soon.
BUT IT IS A MESS AND I COULD SCREAM AND HAVE SCREAMED AT THE ADOPTION AGENCY!!! I don't understand how we could have done all that paperwork and traveled thousands of miles to come back with a child who wasn't an orphan and who already had a home!
If you know any support groups/yahoo groups I'd like to know about them.
Oh, regarding ACW, yeah, we worked with them on another adoption. Sloppy, not professional, never available, and ultimately they did not deliver. That whole ICPC business was a wreck and ACW definitely was cutting some corners in our case to "make" it happen. i'd never, ever, never use them again. I think their practices are questionable and I wondered at the time if the adoption (if it had every happened) would have been legal, given the "loose" paperwork.
your adopted child
Sorry about what happened with your adopted child. Did you ever think it a possibility that it was not the agencies fault? Do you think it might have been the responsibility of the overseas orphanage and/or the government in that country? Who approved the adoption in the other country? Our US agencies do not have that type of clout.
A Child's Waiting
I think you will be out of a job soon. What about Stephanie Bennett? I hear you guys and the high school counselor in cahoots together. She didn't call you. The high school counselor called you.
don't forget....
And they encouraged her to run away and hide from everyone. Shameless ACW just shameless.