Our family had a good experience with this group. We knew what our fees would be previous to the placement of our baby and we received no surprises. The staff were helpful and courteous. We had problems with our state's ICPC and this group worked extra hard to help us---without asking for additional monies to go to court additional times, or, to fill out and submit additional paperwork. They also helped in finding housing for our family for a longer-than expected stay in the state.
I'd recommend them.
I want to mimic what another reviewer said. Bethany does not care what YOU want, they have their own agenda in the adoption process in the older child program. The staff are not adequately trained to complete paperwork. Without getting into details, beware. We were told upfront that the matching process could take a long time (expected) and that Bethany was not a very active agency in placing children that are legally free or legal at risk placements.
There are too many good adoption agencies out there!
Dillon International was a blessing to our family. We adopted from Vietnam and were one of the first families to expereince the DNA requirments of 2008. Dillon held our hand though the whole process. They answered every question to the best of their ability. When they did not know an answer they were honest to tell us that. They worked with us to help us leave very shortly after we got permission to travel. The in country staff was just as impressive. Dillon provides excellent culture camps each summer which our family has truly enjoyed. I hope to work with them again and would highly recommend them to anyone as a trustworthy agency.
If you go into adoption with the right attitude, this agency will work well for you. Adoption is uncertain, the rules change mid-process. Keep an open mind and work with the agency and you will be happy.
The RMI program for Journey's of the Home was seemingly left with mud on it's boots when it was discovered their own director for this program was very vocal about changing the American laws that granted Marshallese Women to come to the United States and receive healthcare before, during and after birth. This director kept rumors up about how American's had to pay for the babies to be born and it raised taxes and that it took the power away from the government of the RMI. Now this director is the *only* American who can do RMI international adoptions for the entire United States of America.
The argument to many didn't make any sense because America is about 'freedom' and gives our citizens and other countries who have 'rights' granted to them to do what they will with their body and their baby. And up until then RMI women were allowed to come to the USA to give birth in an American Hospital and at that time they can choose to place their baby for adoption. Some stated this was some sort of loophole... I don't really get it - it would seem that anyone in their right mind would want a baby who would be born in a hospital without up to date equipment, medicines and specialist on hand to come and receive what is arguably the best medical care one can receive.
And by removing the right of the birth mother and putting her adoption decision into the governments decision seems to go against everything that is 'American'.
My gripe here is NOT that the RMI wants to have a say over the women of their country's choices - this is their country, so we respect that, my gripe is that as someone who adopted a child here in the US and still has relationships with the birthparents of our child, was met with complete ridicule and hatred by this director (I think it was the director, this was by blog) when we talked about adopting another child - through their program.
She was complaining that birth parents in the RMI were not being told the truth about the adoptions - but when I said I spoke to the birthmother about 'our' child's future - she said that's impossible since the birth mother didn't speak english.... *The birthmother *DOES* speak english, in fact when we were with her last she said to me that I am definitely the mother of this precious child and this adoption agency director doesn't even know this birthmother! :)
It just rubbed me the wrong way about all the obvious mistruths being said about our adoption agency, etc.
She didn't give me much confidence that she would be able to pull it together and do a superb job on behalf of the birthfamily and us, the adopting family because she came off as too 'over-the-top' with trying to justify why she's the only person in the entire United States of America that makes money on this adoption and as well she was VERY vocal to make it that way. It kinda makes one want to look at the ethics of it...
This was just my experience and I hope that she has now been able to let go of her 'speech' to justify her apparent takeover of the RMI international adoption program to the US and can focus solely on getting these precious children and families together with 'their' families that God has provided them through the gift of adoption.
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Blessed Abundantly to be a Mommy through the gift of adoption...
We are looking for an agency for Ukraine, we have looked at this agency and it seems that some people liked them some not. did they take money from you and should we look for another agency.
My husband and I have adopted two of our children through Angel Adoptions, two years apart. This is a unique agency! They don't accept parents who use any physical punishment at all, or ones that smoke! We loved that because my husband is a pediatrician and I am a social worker. This fit us well. Joy works so hard with each and every birth mother. Each one is provided with counseling before and after the pregnancy. Our childrens birth mothers said they felt so supported by this agency, and that Joy was compassionate and caring throughout their adoption planning. It is evident that Joy cares so much. This is not just a job for her, it is her life's work. She is dedicated, caring, and highly experienced. We felt so comfortable putting the future of our family in her hands. Baby first, birth mother second, adoptive parents third -- that is her motto. And that is what we wanted. No big, impersonal agency where people are moved up on a list. Not for us! We have open and semi-open adoptions with our childrens birth parents, and it has worked out so well. The ethics of this agency -- that is why we went back (and may again!)
It is not respectful to refer to a First Mother or Birth Mother as a "bm" which is shortening of the medical term "bowel movement." "Birthmother" smooshed into one word or "bm" are oppressive terms completely disrespectful to mothers and women everywhere.
She is your child's mother, not just the vessel that delivered a child to you. She is a human being with thoughts and feelings. What happens when your daughter grows up and wants to know her First Mother? How will you explain that you fulfilled your "obligation" but saw no need to go any further? Adoptees do not stay children forever. We grow up, we discover motherhood ourselves, and our First Mothers are important to us.
Yes, Bethany has always been on the wrong side of reform. The NCFA lobbies in the best interest of agencies--not adoptees, not children, not First Parents, heck not really even in the best interest of Adoptive Parents. You can see from my adoption story (which I just posted with my rating) how sealed OBCs and lack of access to truthful information gave Bethany unimaginable power to manipulate both sets of my parents. When there is no truth and openness there are no checks and balances.
My name is Amanda and I am an Adult Adoptee who was adopted through Bethany Services in a private, domestic infant adoption in 1985. I had recent dealings with them in 2007-2009 and my First Mother has been contacting them off and on throughout the first 24 years of my life 1985 through present.
I personally prefer to refer to this agency as "Bethany Services" because there is honestly nothing "Christian" about how they handled my adoption. I have awesome adoptive parents and had a wonderful childhood. The secrecy Bethany placed on my adoption kept us oblivious to unethical misdeeds behind the scene and a very hurting First Mom that we had no idea was marginalized and mistreated and out there hurting and longing for me. I am a reunited adoptee who has heard my adoption story from my Adoptive Parents and First Mother in order to be able to put the entire truthful circumstances together. I also have my adoption records.
My First Mother approached Bethany Services as a young, pregnant teenager in 1985 to consider her options. Instead of offering her a balanced view, adoption was pushed. They matched her with a few couple profiles and handed her computer printouts--who would she pick *if* she was considering adoption? She remembers selecting a couple with a little boy--*if* she was going to choose adoption, that's who she would pick, she told them.
She went into labor and as active labor began, a white curtain was drawn in front of her face so that she could not see what was going on while she was pushing nor see me be born. As I began to crown, the asked her to count to ten and she went unconscious--the nurse had put something in either her IV or her epidural. Meanwhile, I was pulled out of her with forceps. They did this to keep her from bonding with me. She did not request this and they did not tell her this was going to happen, they just did it. When she awoke, she remembers that she was in a different room--somewhere else in the hospital, suddenly being treated like she was there for nothing more than a cold. She recalls that it was like an "act of Congress" to get to hold me. She was disturbed by this, not only for obvious reasons but because she had never promised to anyone that she was choosing adoption. She felt like the decision had been made for her. When it was finally time for her to leave the hospital, she was having trouble leaving without me. Her sister and her nurse stepped outside of her hospital room to give her a moment to think at which point the Bethany adoption worker marched in. She badgered my First Mom, fired questions at her that she couldn't answer, and made her feel completely unworthy to parent her own child. It was then that she signed me into foster care on papers where the worker had scribbled that I was destined for adoption. My First Mother felt like she had no other choice. She would need to make up her mind to officially surrender me within one month or they would start charging her $28 per week for my care in foster. A month later she entered a judge's chamber with the same adoption worker there and agreed to relinquish me.
My First Mom and her sister returned to my First Mom's home state (she had been sent away when she got pregnant) to prosecute the man who had fathered me (I was conceived from forced relations). The prosecutors contacted Bethany to contact my adoptive parents to see if they would help the investigation by providing a sample of my blood to which my adoptive parents agreed. Bethany told my adoptive parents that the sample was no longer necessary and then went and told the state prosecutor that my adoptive parents had refused to provide the sample because I was too young to be involved in such an investigation. Due to the lack of DNA evidence, my First Mother was forced to take the stand to testify against her attacker. Humiliated, she refused to speak. This man was unable to be fully punished for his actions due to lack of compelling evidence and testimony as to the extent of his actions against her. He was therefore sentenced to only 30 months in prison. Living in a small town, she often bumped into him throughout the years once he was released. I do not know why Bethany did not cooperate to bring my First Mother justice; I will not even begin to speculate. In case you're wondering, yes, this man actually did father me. I am in contact with his sister, my paternal aunt, and the family resemblance is absolutely striking and undeniable.
During the counseling process with Bethany, my First Mother was promised that if I was surrendered for adoption, I would always know who she was and that I would have all of her identifying information (never happened). She was promised that at the age of 16 I would be given her current contact information (never happened). She was told I would always have access to her if I wanted to but that she must agree not to contact me. I was never told or sent a darn thing. By the time I finally got Bethany to tell me how to find her and contact her at the age of 24, she had spent the 8 (almost 9) years since my 16th birthday wondering if I was even still alive or if perhaps I wanted nothing to do with her. Each time she contacted the agency over the years to update her information, they perpetuated the same untruthful nonsense.
I lived in foster care under a false alias. Original Birth Certificates of adoptees are not sealed until an adoption is finalized. Despite my full legal entitlement to my original name given by my First Mom on my Birth Certificate, AND against my First Mother's wishes for NO secrecy, Bethany attempted to make sure that no one never know what my real, original name was. My foster parents weren't allowed to know my real name nor my adoptive parents. I even have medical records now in my posession under this fake name. When my adoption was finalized the following year after my birth, my Original Birth Certificate was sealed and an amended certificate with a third name--the name I have now, my adoptive name, was issued. This certificate lists my adoptive parents as giving "live birth." Now Bethany does not seal OBCs, the state does. That being said, they had no right to withhold my real name from me and my adoptive parents while I was still entitled to it prior to my adoption. What inhumane cruelty--I am a human being, not a commercial product, not a Tabula Rassa to be molded.
My adoption records list that my adoptive parents were specifically chosen because of the distance of their location from my First Family which would serve the best interest of secrecy in the adoption (again, against my First Mother's wishes and what she was promised). My adoption was handled between three different Bethany agencies across three seperate States. My adoptive parents were told that my First Mother chose adoption because she wanted to "move on with her life." I was NOT given to the couple with the little boy whom my First Mother had been made to believe she had chosen when she was considering adoption vs. parenting.
I began contacting Bethany in 2007 to ask about searching for my First Mom. I was very timid because I was afraid of being judged by them for wanting to reunite. I went back and forth with one post-adoption social worker a few times between 2007-2009. They claimed my First Mom's contact information on file was no longer any good and that the phone number was "probably" bad. They claimed that the prevailing practice at the time of my adoption was not to exchange names and not provide identifying information which they must hold to when speaking with me about my First Mom. All-the-while my First Mother was not only promised I would be able to contact her but she had also made it rediculously clear that I was to know who she was if I asked about her. I asked the worker I had been speaking to if I could have any non-ID information and she never replied to me or wrote me another email again. Finally in 2009 when my adoptive parents began calling Bethany as well as an adoption lawyer for me to help me get information, we were sent a very dry email from a different Bethany worker with a list of outrageously priced services as well as information on going through the state to contact my First Mom. At this point I was so annoyed with Bethany that I opted to go through the state and after a rediculous 7-month ordeal with my birth/adoption state, we reunited.
24 almost 25 years of lies and secrecy with no concern as to the gravity of the impact it would have on both of my families.
That's funny. I used them, they never referred me to a specific doctor. In fact I trust them and asked them to send me to a specific doctor they have used before. My consultant said they were unable to refer to a specific doctor because if the information is invalid it's grounds for a law suit. And I was also told to use a doctor, not a psychiatrist. Plus you can turn down a referral. I don't buy this at all. I network with many families that have used EAC for Russia and this is a lie! They do not try to make you go with the first referral. And anyone who refers to "closing the deal" with the adoption makes me sick. Go buy a car!!
This site will not allow me to assign zero or negative stars. As a mother who relinquished through Bethany, I can say it no better than an article published recently in The Nation. (Google it) The coercive tactics described in the article echo my experience with Bethany in a way that is uncanny ... and quite sad upon reflection. Worst of all, I found out later that my child was physically and emotionally abused in his adoptive home.
found out this organization at China has registered another tourist agency under a management's name. pretty much all potential applicants need to travel to china via this tourist agency and all the profits from this agency will go directly to the management.
If I could give BCS a zero star I would. If anybody realizes... all of the high reviews are from Adoptive Parents. Don't get me wrong... I'm glad for their experience. That is most likely not the case if you were a birth mother dealing with Bethany Christian Services.
I was a young woman that lost her virginity and got pregnant... to spare details I called BCS to talk. From the second the picked up the phone their motive was to get that baby out of me and sold. I called to get council... I was scared and the minute I had second thoughts about adoption I had the "district manager" from Bethany Christian services at my apartment telling me how badly I would be destroying the families that I picked. Really? no I would be losing them a sale. After the birth... I was in severe depression and they refused to help me with the counselling that was promised.
Couples pay 35000 dollars and you can't pay a few hours for a counselling session or support group for the birth mother. Where does that money go?? I'm not trying to sound angry... I'm very hurt that people can put up a name "Christian Services" and treat people the way they do. For the adoptive parents on here that gave bad reviews because even though they treated you well... but didn't do anything for the birth parents.... Thank You. I could only wish for that support from my daughters new parents.
Nobody will ever understand the pain of a mother giving her child away... unless she goes thru it. To have somebody who was supposed to hold your hand thru that situation... just take that baby and run... is even worse. I have not heard from BCS since a week after the birth of my daughter over 5 years ago. I'm supposed to get picture updates... nothing. I can only hope that she is well and happy.
My husband and I came to Abrazo two years ago with high hopes and excited hearts toward an open adoption relationship with a birth-mom. We were also eager to have a great relationship with our agency. We were matched with a birth-mom very quickly, and we fell IN LOVE with this lovely young lady! We visited her several times before the baby was born, and developed a wonderful relationship that is strong to this day. Our baby was born, with us right there, and we will never forget such a beautiful day and such a wonderful experience.
Abrazo did a wonderful thing when they gave this girl our profile to consider. But after they matched us we received VERY LITTLE guidance or encouragement from our agency. We did EVERYTHING they asked of us including homework, classes, workshops, visiting our birth-mom three times before the baby was born (and we lived 1000 miles away!!), and yet we always felt completely unsupported by our agency. We paid everything on time, and even had a surplus in our account, yet we still could not please the director. There was little to no communication from our agency, even though we had to mail in monthly homework, updates, etc...we never heard from them.
We had charges on our bill that were invalid, but we had to pay them anyway. There were no receipts to shown to us to prove any expenses, there were many miscellaneous charges listed that could not be disputed, and when we asked why, we were belittled for not "trusting our agency after all they had done for us."
We never got answers, and because of our questions, our finalization got delayed for months and months even though our birthmom was completely happy and our social worker was recommending our finalization immediately. WE were being "punished" for not being "on board" with the agency. However, when you are paying $20,000-$30,000 in adoption expenses and trip costs, you feel like you have a right to know where your money is going. We never received a refund for the money we were owed, and still had to pay for hundereds of unexplained "miscellaneous" fees.
Since our experience, we have talked to over 12 other couples from Abrazo and have found that MOST of them have also had similar experiences. Many, many unexplained charges, feeling disliked by the agency staff, feeling like you cannot ask questions for fear you might make the director angry, many delayed finalizations for no legal reasons (except that the director felt like delaying it), demands placed on you to visit your birthmom in order to finalize (which is NOT legally required), and having a very difficult time getting back the money in the escrow account after finalization. (You are required to keep a balance of $3,000 at all times....we had even more than that.)
We have a wonderful relationship with our birthmom, and have the best baby ever!! We would go through the hell that we suffered again to get our wonderful child.....but we will not ever use Abrazo again, and we could NEVER recommend it to anyone--friend or stranger.
Abrazo has a forum where you can chat and get wonderful advice from other adoptive parents. We always felt very loved and supported by the other parents...but never the agency. (In fact, our birth-mom told us that when she attended the few support meetings that she did go to, that even the director talked badly about the adoptive parents.....) We were warned during the orientation by several returning Abrazo couples that we should NEVER cross the director, NEVER write anything on the forum that was negative, NEVER question a charge, NEVER write anything in a personal message on the forum (because the director would read those too), and NEVER ask about finalization....because it would be delayed on purpose because you asked.
We rolled our eyes at their comments. Surely it would not be THAT bad.....besides, they were REPEAT adoptive parents through Abrazo....
But it WAS that bad.....and we saw things happen to adoptive friends that were even worse.
I would love to warn everyone that is considering Abrazo to beware. They do place many babies, and they teach you WONDERFUL things about open adoption. We have grown so much as a couple and as individuals because of the things we were required to learn through our time at Abrazo.
We will ALWAYS choose open adoption every time we adopt from now on....but we will NEVER choose to go through the abuse we suffered at the hands of Abrazo ever again.
I came across this agency a few weeks ago and as a habit, I always google everything including BBB just to find out more about any org or a company I will be associating with. Oh my God, I happened to tumble on this rating site! I am scared to death because I was about to call them as I would like to adopt a child! Luckly enough I have all paperwork and approval from immigration, also dossier ready!! I am horrified to find out this information before I make the biggest mistake of my life! It is a shame that greed can take controll of people and it is a real shame that they can do all this while pretending to care so much for children! I thank all the courageous people who have written all these horrifying stories about Sue!! We need to expose people like this in our society!
There will always be positive and negative reviews of adoption agencies by families and friends. However, Hague accreditation is something that is a controlled, objective evaluation of an agency. It is not "dissatisfaction ... from a disappointment in their life". I know that CCI has applied for and been denied Hague accreditation in the past. Has it corrected the deficiencies that prevented approval? Is CCI a Hague approved agency?
I am sorry this person has such strong feelings but please read the many excellent reviews. I am part of a group that appreciates Sue and CCI's efforts beyond anything a star rating can give. My guess is there are a few people out there lashing out int here hurt and exhaustion.
Many suffer from a depression following the long and emotional adoption experience that is not unlike a post par-tum depression.
Both my daughter and son in law and we are building our families through CCI! They used CCI twice bringing home 4 children total. And we will bring our new children home the end of the month. We were helped every step of the way and Sue visits there so often that updates are frequent and accurate.
I just rated them at 5 stars and would give them 10 if I could.
Our family had a good experience with this group. We knew what our fees would be previous to the placement of our baby and we received no surprises. The staff were helpful and courteous. We had problems with our state's ICPC and this group worked extra hard to help us---without asking for additional monies to go to court additional times, or, to fill out and submit additional paperwork. They also helped in finding housing for our family for a longer-than expected stay in the state.
I'd recommend them.
I want to mimic what another reviewer said. Bethany does not care what YOU want, they have their own agenda in the adoption process in the older child program. The staff are not adequately trained to complete paperwork. Without getting into details, beware. We were told upfront that the matching process could take a long time (expected) and that Bethany was not a very active agency in placing children that are legally free or legal at risk placements.
There are too many good adoption agencies out there!
Dillon International was a blessing to our family. We adopted from Vietnam and were one of the first families to expereince the DNA requirments of 2008. Dillon held our hand though the whole process. They answered every question to the best of their ability. When they did not know an answer they were honest to tell us that. They worked with us to help us leave very shortly after we got permission to travel. The in country staff was just as impressive. Dillon provides excellent culture camps each summer which our family has truly enjoyed. I hope to work with them again and would highly recommend them to anyone as a trustworthy agency.
If you go into adoption with the right attitude, this agency will work well for you. Adoption is uncertain, the rules change mid-process. Keep an open mind and work with the agency and you will be happy.
The RMI program for Journey's of the Home was seemingly left with mud on it's boots when it was discovered their own director for this program was very vocal about changing the American laws that granted Marshallese Women to come to the United States and receive healthcare before, during and after birth. This director kept rumors up about how American's had to pay for the babies to be born and it raised taxes and that it took the power away from the government of the RMI. Now this director is the *only* American who can do RMI international adoptions for the entire United States of America.
The argument to many didn't make any sense because America is about 'freedom' and gives our citizens and other countries who have 'rights' granted to them to do what they will with their body and their baby. And up until then RMI women were allowed to come to the USA to give birth in an American Hospital and at that time they can choose to place their baby for adoption. Some stated this was some sort of loophole... I don't really get it - it would seem that anyone in their right mind would want a baby who would be born in a hospital without up to date equipment, medicines and specialist on hand to come and receive what is arguably the best medical care one can receive.
And by removing the right of the birth mother and putting her adoption decision into the governments decision seems to go against everything that is 'American'.
My gripe here is NOT that the RMI wants to have a say over the women of their country's choices - this is their country, so we respect that, my gripe is that as someone who adopted a child here in the US and still has relationships with the birthparents of our child, was met with complete ridicule and hatred by this director (I think it was the director, this was by blog) when we talked about adopting another child - through their program.
She was complaining that birth parents in the RMI were not being told the truth about the adoptions - but when I said I spoke to the birthmother about 'our' child's future - she said that's impossible since the birth mother didn't speak english.... *The birthmother *DOES* speak english, in fact when we were with her last she said to me that I am definitely the mother of this precious child and this adoption agency director doesn't even know this birthmother! :)
It just rubbed me the wrong way about all the obvious mistruths being said about our adoption agency, etc.
She didn't give me much confidence that she would be able to pull it together and do a superb job on behalf of the birthfamily and us, the adopting family because she came off as too 'over-the-top' with trying to justify why she's the only person in the entire United States of America that makes money on this adoption and as well she was VERY vocal to make it that way. It kinda makes one want to look at the ethics of it...
This was just my experience and I hope that she has now been able to let go of her 'speech' to justify her apparent takeover of the RMI international adoption program to the US and can focus solely on getting these precious children and families together with 'their' families that God has provided them through the gift of adoption.
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Blessed Abundantly to be a Mommy through the gift of adoption...
We are looking for an agency for Ukraine, we have looked at this agency and it seems that some people liked them some not. did they take money from you and should we look for another agency.
My husband and I have adopted two of our children through Angel Adoptions, two years apart. This is a unique agency! They don't accept parents who use any physical punishment at all, or ones that smoke! We loved that because my husband is a pediatrician and I am a social worker. This fit us well. Joy works so hard with each and every birth mother. Each one is provided with counseling before and after the pregnancy. Our childrens birth mothers said they felt so supported by this agency, and that Joy was compassionate and caring throughout their adoption planning. It is evident that Joy cares so much. This is not just a job for her, it is her life's work. She is dedicated, caring, and highly experienced. We felt so comfortable putting the future of our family in her hands. Baby first, birth mother second, adoptive parents third -- that is her motto. And that is what we wanted. No big, impersonal agency where people are moved up on a list. Not for us! We have open and semi-open adoptions with our childrens birth parents, and it has worked out so well. The ethics of this agency -- that is why we went back (and may again!)
It is not respectful to refer to a First Mother or Birth Mother as a "bm" which is shortening of the medical term "bowel movement." "Birthmother" smooshed into one word or "bm" are oppressive terms completely disrespectful to mothers and women everywhere.
She is your child's mother, not just the vessel that delivered a child to you. She is a human being with thoughts and feelings. What happens when your daughter grows up and wants to know her First Mother? How will you explain that you fulfilled your "obligation" but saw no need to go any further? Adoptees do not stay children forever. We grow up, we discover motherhood ourselves, and our First Mothers are important to us.
According to the price sheet that I recieved from Bethany almost a year ago, counseling is $95 per hour. Sounds fair right?
Yes, Bethany has always been on the wrong side of reform. The NCFA lobbies in the best interest of agencies--not adoptees, not children, not First Parents, heck not really even in the best interest of Adoptive Parents. You can see from my adoption story (which I just posted with my rating) how sealed OBCs and lack of access to truthful information gave Bethany unimaginable power to manipulate both sets of my parents. When there is no truth and openness there are no checks and balances.
My name is Amanda and I am an Adult Adoptee who was adopted through Bethany Services in a private, domestic infant adoption in 1985. I had recent dealings with them in 2007-2009 and my First Mother has been contacting them off and on throughout the first 24 years of my life 1985 through present.
I personally prefer to refer to this agency as "Bethany Services" because there is honestly nothing "Christian" about how they handled my adoption. I have awesome adoptive parents and had a wonderful childhood. The secrecy Bethany placed on my adoption kept us oblivious to unethical misdeeds behind the scene and a very hurting First Mom that we had no idea was marginalized and mistreated and out there hurting and longing for me. I am a reunited adoptee who has heard my adoption story from my Adoptive Parents and First Mother in order to be able to put the entire truthful circumstances together. I also have my adoption records.
My First Mother approached Bethany Services as a young, pregnant teenager in 1985 to consider her options. Instead of offering her a balanced view, adoption was pushed. They matched her with a few couple profiles and handed her computer printouts--who would she pick *if* she was considering adoption? She remembers selecting a couple with a little boy--*if* she was going to choose adoption, that's who she would pick, she told them.
She went into labor and as active labor began, a white curtain was drawn in front of her face so that she could not see what was going on while she was pushing nor see me be born. As I began to crown, the asked her to count to ten and she went unconscious--the nurse had put something in either her IV or her epidural. Meanwhile, I was pulled out of her with forceps. They did this to keep her from bonding with me. She did not request this and they did not tell her this was going to happen, they just did it. When she awoke, she remembers that she was in a different room--somewhere else in the hospital, suddenly being treated like she was there for nothing more than a cold. She recalls that it was like an "act of Congress" to get to hold me. She was disturbed by this, not only for obvious reasons but because she had never promised to anyone that she was choosing adoption. She felt like the decision had been made for her. When it was finally time for her to leave the hospital, she was having trouble leaving without me. Her sister and her nurse stepped outside of her hospital room to give her a moment to think at which point the Bethany adoption worker marched in. She badgered my First Mom, fired questions at her that she couldn't answer, and made her feel completely unworthy to parent her own child. It was then that she signed me into foster care on papers where the worker had scribbled that I was destined for adoption. My First Mother felt like she had no other choice. She would need to make up her mind to officially surrender me within one month or they would start charging her $28 per week for my care in foster. A month later she entered a judge's chamber with the same adoption worker there and agreed to relinquish me.
My First Mom and her sister returned to my First Mom's home state (she had been sent away when she got pregnant) to prosecute the man who had fathered me (I was conceived from forced relations). The prosecutors contacted Bethany to contact my adoptive parents to see if they would help the investigation by providing a sample of my blood to which my adoptive parents agreed. Bethany told my adoptive parents that the sample was no longer necessary and then went and told the state prosecutor that my adoptive parents had refused to provide the sample because I was too young to be involved in such an investigation. Due to the lack of DNA evidence, my First Mother was forced to take the stand to testify against her attacker. Humiliated, she refused to speak. This man was unable to be fully punished for his actions due to lack of compelling evidence and testimony as to the extent of his actions against her. He was therefore sentenced to only 30 months in prison. Living in a small town, she often bumped into him throughout the years once he was released. I do not know why Bethany did not cooperate to bring my First Mother justice; I will not even begin to speculate. In case you're wondering, yes, this man actually did father me. I am in contact with his sister, my paternal aunt, and the family resemblance is absolutely striking and undeniable.
During the counseling process with Bethany, my First Mother was promised that if I was surrendered for adoption, I would always know who she was and that I would have all of her identifying information (never happened). She was promised that at the age of 16 I would be given her current contact information (never happened). She was told I would always have access to her if I wanted to but that she must agree not to contact me. I was never told or sent a darn thing. By the time I finally got Bethany to tell me how to find her and contact her at the age of 24, she had spent the 8 (almost 9) years since my 16th birthday wondering if I was even still alive or if perhaps I wanted nothing to do with her. Each time she contacted the agency over the years to update her information, they perpetuated the same untruthful nonsense.
I lived in foster care under a false alias. Original Birth Certificates of adoptees are not sealed until an adoption is finalized. Despite my full legal entitlement to my original name given by my First Mom on my Birth Certificate, AND against my First Mother's wishes for NO secrecy, Bethany attempted to make sure that no one never know what my real, original name was. My foster parents weren't allowed to know my real name nor my adoptive parents. I even have medical records now in my posession under this fake name. When my adoption was finalized the following year after my birth, my Original Birth Certificate was sealed and an amended certificate with a third name--the name I have now, my adoptive name, was issued. This certificate lists my adoptive parents as giving "live birth." Now Bethany does not seal OBCs, the state does. That being said, they had no right to withhold my real name from me and my adoptive parents while I was still entitled to it prior to my adoption. What inhumane cruelty--I am a human being, not a commercial product, not a Tabula Rassa to be molded.
My adoption records list that my adoptive parents were specifically chosen because of the distance of their location from my First Family which would serve the best interest of secrecy in the adoption (again, against my First Mother's wishes and what she was promised). My adoption was handled between three different Bethany agencies across three seperate States. My adoptive parents were told that my First Mother chose adoption because she wanted to "move on with her life." I was NOT given to the couple with the little boy whom my First Mother had been made to believe she had chosen when she was considering adoption vs. parenting.
I began contacting Bethany in 2007 to ask about searching for my First Mom. I was very timid because I was afraid of being judged by them for wanting to reunite. I went back and forth with one post-adoption social worker a few times between 2007-2009. They claimed my First Mom's contact information on file was no longer any good and that the phone number was "probably" bad. They claimed that the prevailing practice at the time of my adoption was not to exchange names and not provide identifying information which they must hold to when speaking with me about my First Mom. All-the-while my First Mother was not only promised I would be able to contact her but she had also made it rediculously clear that I was to know who she was if I asked about her. I asked the worker I had been speaking to if I could have any non-ID information and she never replied to me or wrote me another email again. Finally in 2009 when my adoptive parents began calling Bethany as well as an adoption lawyer for me to help me get information, we were sent a very dry email from a different Bethany worker with a list of outrageously priced services as well as information on going through the state to contact my First Mom. At this point I was so annoyed with Bethany that I opted to go through the state and after a rediculous 7-month ordeal with my birth/adoption state, we reunited.
24 almost 25 years of lies and secrecy with no concern as to the gravity of the impact it would have on both of my families.
That's funny. I used them, they never referred me to a specific doctor. In fact I trust them and asked them to send me to a specific doctor they have used before. My consultant said they were unable to refer to a specific doctor because if the information is invalid it's grounds for a law suit. And I was also told to use a doctor, not a psychiatrist. Plus you can turn down a referral. I don't buy this at all. I network with many families that have used EAC for Russia and this is a lie! They do not try to make you go with the first referral. And anyone who refers to "closing the deal" with the adoption makes me sick. Go buy a car!!
This site will not allow me to assign zero or negative stars. As a mother who relinquished through Bethany, I can say it no better than an article published recently in The Nation. (Google it) The coercive tactics described in the article echo my experience with Bethany in a way that is uncanny ... and quite sad upon reflection. Worst of all, I found out later that my child was physically and emotionally abused in his adoptive home.
found out this organization at China has registered another tourist agency under a management's name. pretty much all potential applicants need to travel to china via this tourist agency and all the profits from this agency will go directly to the management.
If I could give BCS a zero star I would. If anybody realizes... all of the high reviews are from Adoptive Parents. Don't get me wrong... I'm glad for their experience. That is most likely not the case if you were a birth mother dealing with Bethany Christian Services.
I was a young woman that lost her virginity and got pregnant... to spare details I called BCS to talk. From the second the picked up the phone their motive was to get that baby out of me and sold. I called to get council... I was scared and the minute I had second thoughts about adoption I had the "district manager" from Bethany Christian services at my apartment telling me how badly I would be destroying the families that I picked. Really? no I would be losing them a sale. After the birth... I was in severe depression and they refused to help me with the counselling that was promised.
Couples pay 35000 dollars and you can't pay a few hours for a counselling session or support group for the birth mother. Where does that money go?? I'm not trying to sound angry... I'm very hurt that people can put up a name "Christian Services" and treat people the way they do. For the adoptive parents on here that gave bad reviews because even though they treated you well... but didn't do anything for the birth parents.... Thank You. I could only wish for that support from my daughters new parents.
Nobody will ever understand the pain of a mother giving her child away... unless she goes thru it. To have somebody who was supposed to hold your hand thru that situation... just take that baby and run... is even worse. I have not heard from BCS since a week after the birth of my daughter over 5 years ago. I'm supposed to get picture updates... nothing. I can only hope that she is well and happy.
My husband and I came to Abrazo two years ago with high hopes and excited hearts toward an open adoption relationship with a birth-mom. We were also eager to have a great relationship with our agency. We were matched with a birth-mom very quickly, and we fell IN LOVE with this lovely young lady! We visited her several times before the baby was born, and developed a wonderful relationship that is strong to this day. Our baby was born, with us right there, and we will never forget such a beautiful day and such a wonderful experience.
Abrazo did a wonderful thing when they gave this girl our profile to consider. But after they matched us we received VERY LITTLE guidance or encouragement from our agency. We did EVERYTHING they asked of us including homework, classes, workshops, visiting our birth-mom three times before the baby was born (and we lived 1000 miles away!!), and yet we always felt completely unsupported by our agency. We paid everything on time, and even had a surplus in our account, yet we still could not please the director. There was little to no communication from our agency, even though we had to mail in monthly homework, updates, etc...we never heard from them.
We had charges on our bill that were invalid, but we had to pay them anyway. There were no receipts to shown to us to prove any expenses, there were many miscellaneous charges listed that could not be disputed, and when we asked why, we were belittled for not "trusting our agency after all they had done for us."
We never got answers, and because of our questions, our finalization got delayed for months and months even though our birthmom was completely happy and our social worker was recommending our finalization immediately. WE were being "punished" for not being "on board" with the agency. However, when you are paying $20,000-$30,000 in adoption expenses and trip costs, you feel like you have a right to know where your money is going. We never received a refund for the money we were owed, and still had to pay for hundereds of unexplained "miscellaneous" fees.
Since our experience, we have talked to over 12 other couples from Abrazo and have found that MOST of them have also had similar experiences. Many, many unexplained charges, feeling disliked by the agency staff, feeling like you cannot ask questions for fear you might make the director angry, many delayed finalizations for no legal reasons (except that the director felt like delaying it), demands placed on you to visit your birthmom in order to finalize (which is NOT legally required), and having a very difficult time getting back the money in the escrow account after finalization. (You are required to keep a balance of $3,000 at all times....we had even more than that.)
We have a wonderful relationship with our birthmom, and have the best baby ever!! We would go through the hell that we suffered again to get our wonderful child.....but we will not ever use Abrazo again, and we could NEVER recommend it to anyone--friend or stranger.
Abrazo has a forum where you can chat and get wonderful advice from other adoptive parents. We always felt very loved and supported by the other parents...but never the agency. (In fact, our birth-mom told us that when she attended the few support meetings that she did go to, that even the director talked badly about the adoptive parents.....) We were warned during the orientation by several returning Abrazo couples that we should NEVER cross the director, NEVER write anything on the forum that was negative, NEVER question a charge, NEVER write anything in a personal message on the forum (because the director would read those too), and NEVER ask about finalization....because it would be delayed on purpose because you asked.
We rolled our eyes at their comments. Surely it would not be THAT bad.....besides, they were REPEAT adoptive parents through Abrazo....
But it WAS that bad.....and we saw things happen to adoptive friends that were even worse.
I would love to warn everyone that is considering Abrazo to beware. They do place many babies, and they teach you WONDERFUL things about open adoption. We have grown so much as a couple and as individuals because of the things we were required to learn through our time at Abrazo.
We will ALWAYS choose open adoption every time we adopt from now on....but we will NEVER choose to go through the abuse we suffered at the hands of Abrazo ever again.
I came across this agency a few weeks ago and as a habit, I always google everything including BBB just to find out more about any org or a company I will be associating with. Oh my God, I happened to tumble on this rating site! I am scared to death because I was about to call them as I would like to adopt a child! Luckly enough I have all paperwork and approval from immigration, also dossier ready!! I am horrified to find out this information before I make the biggest mistake of my life! It is a shame that greed can take controll of people and it is a real shame that they can do all this while pretending to care so much for children! I thank all the courageous people who have written all these horrifying stories about Sue!! We need to expose people like this in our society!
There will always be positive and negative reviews of adoption agencies by families and friends. However, Hague accreditation is something that is a controlled, objective evaluation of an agency. It is not "dissatisfaction ... from a disappointment in their life". I know that CCI has applied for and been denied Hague accreditation in the past. Has it corrected the deficiencies that prevented approval? Is CCI a Hague approved agency?
I am sorry this person has such strong feelings but please read the many excellent reviews. I am part of a group that appreciates Sue and CCI's efforts beyond anything a star rating can give. My guess is there are a few people out there lashing out int here hurt and exhaustion.
Many suffer from a depression following the long and emotional adoption experience that is not unlike a post par-tum depression.
Both my daughter and son in law and we are building our families through CCI! They used CCI twice bringing home 4 children total. And we will bring our new children home the end of the month. We were helped every step of the way and Sue visits there so often that updates are frequent and accurate.
I just rated them at 5 stars and would give them 10 if I could.